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" did you say "No thank you, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm a lesbian"?

Attempted regicide, Arson, causing an affray and... I also haven't been able to get the bastards off for three days.

)Eddie: Attempted asphyxiation of the population of West London, detonating 400lbs of Semtex in contravention of the Anti-Terrorist act. Raped to death and then cast aside like some soggy tissue... I hope they ruddy well hurt you up the garden path area, you little shit! They are marigolds, and they were a little snug to get into.

now hurry up and eat your breakfast before Saddam Hussein gets a whiff of your bot and tries to dump you on the Kurds! You're thinking "How many shots did I fire, back there in Act 2 Scene 1?

We should have your rectum sealed in concrete and dumped in the north sea.

oh God, you can't say anything without some dreadful double entendre lurking around the corner!

Not so much a hint, more a Party Political Broadcast.

Michael Portillo...(Eddie suddenly and unexpectedly punches Richie in the groin) AAAARRRRGGGH! Eddie: (to audience) There was a little mistake there, wasn't there? we'd almost certainly trip over a few little bits of wire...

Eddie: Don't you mean it's our duty as lily-livered yellow-trousered shit-your-pants scared-o girlies, who've just discovered they're sharing a very tiny island with a 15-megaton nuclear device, to defuse this bomb? if we even think of taking on the mighty pacific, we'd almost...(audience murmurs) I haven't finished yet!

there is some yoghurt, but if you want to eat you're gonna have to shave it first.

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